Cruz and I have paused in our reading of Romans to spend time in our Advent devotional. The author has been writing about fear, and I've begun to pay attention. As a new mom, our first two months were filled with fear. Why isn't he eating? Why is he eating but throwing it all up? Why is his poop that color? Am I letting him cry to long? Am I not letting him cry long enough? He's such an easy baby... what am I missing? Is he as cute as I think he is? Hey Crazy Teenage Driver, don't even think about getting close to our car! Does he feel safe? Does he comprehend how deeply we love him?
And over and over... the angels reply: Fear not.
Not because there aren't things to fear, but because He is with us. To guard us, comfort us, to be our Light.
It's so hard to be brave sometimes. I want to be like Mary, to take heart when confronted by strange tidings, to trust in God's wisdom and goodness. As someone who naturally worries a lot, I know I won't always be the best model of this trust. Thank goodness my best friend is the bravest person I know! I am so excited for him to see that way she lives her life.
I'm one small Mama, but I'm learning to be brave.
Cruz, I pray that you will be brave when you see angels, because they bring glad tidings of great joy.